Kung Fu Kitten

As promised the post about Heath’s suicide (I still have my doubts about ’accidental’) has been removed.  To the hilarious person who said that I was a hypocrite…emmm, yeah….well I could probably launch into some rant justifying my choice to see the movie, or I could just say, that despite his life choices, Heath’s acting was all in all pretty good and this would in no way prevent me from seeing The Dark Knight.  Also, he isn’t the only actor in the moive.  I did get a kick out of the comment left, especially since there was no return email.  How very brave you are….whoever you are! Until next time………

Saw the mighty QOTSA at the fabulous Carling Academy Glasgow on wednesday night (28th Nov) and they did not disappoint.  There was a lot of songs performed off of the current Era Vulgaris album, which doesn’t compare to Lullabies to Paralyze or Songs for the Deaf, but they put their heart and soul into the performance.  However, what concerns me is the fact that Josh Homme is now the only remaining original member of the band from when it started up in 1997 and therefore songs that would have been previously sung by the gruff but awesome Nick Oliveri were now his responsibility and there is no way in God’s green earth that Josh would sound anything like Nick.  By the end of the gig, after about an hour and a half, Josh just looked knacked, obviously having to do the majority of the work.  I was also mildly impressed by the new bass players playing while simultaneously shaking his head in a thrash metal fashioning without falling over.  Well done dude!

So, as those of you who know me well know that I went to see Ray LaMontagne for the second time this year in the Edindburgh Playhouse on friday night.  The seats weren’t the best and because I’m so audio-orientated, I would shut my eyes in order to tune into his voice to hear the intonnation…..a short way through the gig, all I could hear was a girl talking behind me in a reasonibly loud tone for the situation we were sitting in…..a very quiet gig.  When I turned around, she was blatently chatting to someone on her mobile phone and my blood began to boil.  I gave her a minute but between her laughter and the volume increase in her voice, I turned around and said, “Excuse me, I didn’t pay £22.50 to listen to you talk on your mobile phone….please put it off”….she continued to talk, and put her finger up towards me as if to pause me for a moment while she finished her conversation……I then said, “NOW PLEASE!” and she came off the phone.  My mate whom I went with was mortified at my confronting her, but I explained that people cannot think that talking on a phone during a gig is socially acceptable!!!!  I actually couldn’t belive the audacity of her to do it in the first place.  Is it just me????

 My second incident was in the cinema this week, when a guy and his chick sat down beside me and my mate….right beside…..practically on my knee beside!!  and just…..JUST…as the opening credits began to roll opened his bag of revels really loudly and munched away on them intermittently talking to his wifey….by 20 minutes into the film I was ready for a breakdown and turned to him (very politely mind!) and said, “It would be really helpful if you would stop talking for a while…..please?!?”  I think he could have been drunk, cause it took him a while and then he turned, put his hand on my arm and said, “I’m really sorry…..honest….really sorry”  and I was like, I’M TRYING TO WATCH THE MOVIEEEEE!!!! in my head……

Seriously…..I am not having a good time with rude people at the moment….but again, is it just me??  Or have social standards and manners just declined sharply?  I would not dream of pulling out my mobile in a quiet acoustic gig and talking on it as though i were in the busy high street……nor would I pull out the loudest packets of sweets I could find, eat them, while talking to the person next to me as though I hadn’t seen them in at least ten years…..I’m not saying I’m perfect….but I know how to act appropriately in social situations so to not piss off the people around me…..

Incidentally, Ray was outstanding……..as always!

Ok, well I know that intelligence among Britains is in sharpe decline but never, oh never, have I heard worst lyricism than in a song today on the radio…..normally I leave my listening ears in the eye stabbing hands of rock radio but because I was in my workplace’s car, I had to listen to radio 2….which isn’t that bad and I’m getting towards that age where it’s acceptable to listen to, but oh my wordI never though Steve Wright would play such mince!!!, the lyrics went as so……”It starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose, where ever it goes i always know, that you make me smile, please stay for a while now, just take your time, where ever you go…..”  SERIOUSLY!!!!!! A RECORD COMPANY THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE AMAZING LYRICS AND GLADLY PAID MONEY TO HAVE THEM BE PUT IN A SONG THEN PUT ON THE RADIO!!!?????  Holy shit!!!  It’s got to be some of the worst lyrics I have ever heard, it actually beats Avril Lavignes….”you make me go….oh..oh..ohh” and that’s bad….but talk about just awful!!! That song takes the bad lyric biscuit…..I can hear John Lennon spinning in his grave!!!  and all of Zeppelin are spinning in their beds at night trying to sleep but knowing that song is out there!!!  making people’s ears bleeeed!!! with those truly atrocious lyrics!!!!  Seriously???  It makes me wanna be sick through my eyes…….

It’s been a while I understand and I have neglected my duties as a blogger, but here I am, fresh from (boot) camp and ready to RUMBLE!!!!! To start things off I went to see THe Bourne Ultimatum last night. Now I am not a big fan of Matt Daaamon (Team America stylee) but I have to say that I find him rather fetching and broody as our man Jason Bourne. I enjoyed the two previous movies, Identity and Supremacy so I knew what I was getting myself in for.

Well, well, well children, are we comfortable??? What can I describe this film as but OUTSTANDING!!!! It is fast, furious, slick, and chop full of action that would make your granny weep! There is not a moment to breath and when you finally do, off it goes again. It is nicely paced with all the loose ends tighed up very nicely indeed….I give this spectacular movie, and soon to be in my collection 5 outta sight 5!!!

www.thebourneultimatum.com/ (I would have linked it, but the ability to link hath gone off my thingy)

However, I believe that there could be another movie milked out of this cash cow so have decided to write a letter to Mr. Damon as follows:

Dear Mr. Damon

RE: Names for up and coming movies in the Bourne franchise

I am very impressed with the Bourne films, your acting, physique and general broody look and truly believe that you could squeeze out another movie or two before it all gets a bit stale, therefore I have taken the liberty of coming up with some very snappy movie titles which I would like you to peruse and get back to me on. They are all original and may I say quite superb. I think you may have trouble picking one……

They are as follows: Bournespotting, Bourne on Fire, Bourne Strikes Back, Bourne on the 4th of July, Grosse Point Bourne, Bourne Free, Breakfast at Bournes, Bourne Interrupted, Bourne Intentions, Bourne: The Revenge, Jurassic Bourne, Kill Bourne, Bourne America, Crouching Tiger, HIdden Bourne, Me, Myself and Bourne, Bourne Almighty, Bourne on a Hot Tin Roof, The Colour Bourne, The Family Bourne, Last Bourne Standing and my personal favourite and I also think it’ll attract the younger audience you’ve been gunning for, The Bourne who stole Christmas…..

Yours truly

Your biggest fan

Ok, so I love my job…..LOVE IT!! It is awesome getting to hang out with kids and do amazing outdoor activities in beautiful parts of the country. The only downside (and I know you haven’t heard this before!) is the rain and worse, the midgies. I hate midgies with every single fibre of my being and when I was a kid wasn’t pursued by them…..however, I appear to have taken on the likeness of a fresh Aberdeen Angus steak as they chase me everywhere I go….kind of like the bees in the pink panther cartoons.

So what is the solution (apart from eradicating the bams for good)??? Well, this stuff called Deet. Deet is put in insect repellant and you may think, hey!! There goes the midgie problems and you’d be right….but I am a little concerned with it….because you’re allowed to apply it to your skin but you aren’t allowed to put it anywhere near synthetics, plastic or your contact lenses (!!) because it’ll melt right through them…..but it’s ok to put it on your skin…..hmmmmmm….does anyone else see my concern here??

So the question is, do I not use the Deet and get totally violated like one of hannibal lecters victims? Or do I use the Deet worrying that my waterproof jacket may melt off my body?

Ok, so is it just me, or are there a ridiculous number of films coming out in the new and horrendous ‘Horror Porn’ genre? It all started with SAW, which had some gorey moments but on the whole sucked, then came the remake of ‘The Hills Have Eyes’ which due to the utter degradation towards women and boundary pushing, I walked out of, then came Hostel who had tagged Tarantino as one of it’s producers to try and bag as many viewers as possible to watch what???? People being hacked to bits, murdered and raped in horrible ways? Most definetly.

My whole point in ranting about this is, what do people get going to see these movies? Ok granted I did see part of The Hills Have Eyes, but I was so disturbed by the blatent violence and sexual abuse that I haven’t been able to walk into an 18 certificate film since because of the horrific memories I have left lingering inside my head….no really!! What I want to know is what do people get from seeing these movies? There is no happy ending, they’re short of being snuff movies and you will never have a resolution where all your friends make it out alive to see another day. I don’t believe these films are in any way good for people’s psyche’s or menta/ spiritual growth, I don’t think that they satisfy anything inside anybody, unless it’s some awful primal blood lust and if people claim that they own them on DVD then I honestly think they need to be watched by the police cause they’re gonna commit some kind of atrocity and blame it on these films. I know I sound like Mary Whitehouse but I’m afraid that society is really going down a slippery path of no return and it terrifies me.

Recently my mate and I went to the cinema and instead of watching trailers for a variety of movies, one after the other came these ‘horror porn’ genre orientated films, the first “Paradise Lost”; friends go away on a holiday, they get marooned on a island with nothing, they find a beautiful house in the jungle and the next thing they’re being chased with machettes, then came on “The Hitcher” now I have to confess I like the original with Rudger Hauer but in 1986 the film industry knew how to balance psychological fear with visual effects, I suspect this one will be hacking, slashing and screaming with little or no imagination and lastly came “Vacancy” with Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson, married couple, take a short cut instead of the highway……suddenly get car trouble….creepy guy appears at the car window…advises them where to stay….go to a creepy motel…..go to the room they’re given….switch on the tv to find a video…..put the video in….it’s not porn, no, but a woman being thrown about and raped…the guy is being attacked….they look around the room to suddenly become aware……oh it’s this room!!!! Wilson goes up to the air-vent grate thing and oh look there’s a camera behind it….oh the suprises!!! Then ensues the survival, the running and the wintessing of awful things happening……please please…someone tell me….what do people get from watching these movies???????

Well I actually set my eyes upon a quality worthwhile personalised number plate the other day…..it simply said…..HI FUD…..and this caused utter racious laughter……fantastic…if it hadn’t already gone, I probably would have snatched it up (pardon the pun!)

I am currently watching House M.D, which I purchased (both seasons) for a grand total of £25. Anyways, I hate needles, pain and anything that involved cutting into the human body and those that know me can confirm such a fact…however, I find House utterly compelling!! It’s totally gruesome and makes me wanna heave whenever the phrase ‘lumbar puncture’ comes up….huuuuuu!!! I begin reeling around the room and yet I cannot stop watching it. I think it’s Hugh Laurie, being American, convincingly, and still being funny. I was watching an episode where he is doing his American voice, pretending to be English. All very bizarre but awesome.

Britney Spears is making a come back…..again, bless her, she’s put a “I love my fans, thanks for the support” letter on her new and improved website…..what is very odd is that she’s wearing a wig and is butt naked…..yeah….the letter doesn’t really have the same effect when she looks like she’s gonna work the street…..God bless you Britney.

And lastly, Prince is touring as I’m sure everyone knew….however, he is doing 15 dates at the Millenium dome and the tickets start at a whopping £93!!!! The dearest in the £300 region. How ridiculous is that?? Seriously! I would loved to have seen him in his ‘Red Berry Beret’ days, but now that he’s completely off kilter, I’m just put off. Here’s hoping he puts on a show with all the special effects available, and 3 million costume changes….and not one with a home made glitter ball and his maws 70’s gear smelling of moth balls…..nice!

Well kids, the unbelievable is finally believable, YES!! Twin Peaks Season 2 is now out to buy. The bad news is that it’s only available on Region 1 which means purchasing it from the shores of those those crazy Iraq invading weirdos. I got is myself from Amazon.com for a mere £20 including delivery. Not bad for 6 disks. Now I get to watch the remaining episodes of a truly fantastical mind-boggling bag of madness all wrapped up in a big box of weasels. Outstanding. By the end of it my brain will be dripping out my ears in confusion. BRING IT OOOONNNN!!!